It’s really hard to change someone’s mind by convincing.
When was the last time you did?
Probably never.
And even if they changed their mind after you convinced them, you didn’t change their mind.
They changed their mind.
Maybe you influenced them (go on try and prove that you did and how it is apportioned!) but still, they ultimately changed their mind.
So if you can’t change someone’s mind, they will think what they want to think.
You cannot take what has not been handed over.
The only power you have is to put yourself, who you are and what you want out to the world and see who responds to that in kind.
Then find the ones from that group you also like.
If you look at how the following groups recruit you’ll see the pattern:
- Bikies;
- Pimps;
- Cults;
- Etc…
NOTE: I’m not value judging these or putting them in the same categories.
None of these groups do any outreach or advertising; recruits come to them.
This is where the importance of a brand comes in.
Brands are important for finding those who will respond to you in-kind.
Qualification is important for finding customers you want to serve.
The rest is building rapport, hooking customers and gaining customer loyalty.
But how do you practically deal with this?
There is a thing called a “coin counter,” and it looks like this:
You pour a bunch of different denomination coins in the top, and each coin rolls down the ramp and depending on its size, the same denominations are all allocated into the correct pile.
It sorts the “$2 coins” from the “5 cent coins.”
Obviously, you know who you are attracted to, and you automatically put people into piles of “attracted to” and “not attracted to” physically.
This is straightforward.
But, you also need to do the same for others and find the people who also like you.
That’s much harder.
On top of that, all the power (power being defined as an influence) you have is to be yourself and see who also likes you.
This again is self-evident, but worth mentioning.
Where the overlap exists are the people you need to invest your time and energy.
Those who you are attracted to, but is not reciprocated is a waste of your time and energy: you can’t sell people who don’t want to be sold.
And likewise, those who you are not attracted to, but is reciprocated is a waste of their time and energy.
Such is life.
Furthermore, beyond physical attraction when people show up in your life that overlaps physically, you still need to know what you want emotionally and articulate it assertively.
That’s the harder part, as it polarizes people.
But the more you polarize people, the better off you are: endorsers, enthusiasts, evangelists and enemies are revealed.
What you say or do, communicates one thing about you. How someone responds to that communicate EVERYTHING you need to know about them which allows you to choose if you invest more in them or not.
Qualifying people in this way is one of the most important skills you can possibly acquire for getting what you want out of relationships (both capital “R” and small “r”.)
Mutually filtering the “$2 coins” from the “5 cent coins” will see your relationships get a whole lot better.